A Somewhat Decision...

I haven't blogged in, well, too long and I think it's about time I fill you in on whats going on in my life.
Actress; It's what I love, It's what I want want, It's what I am. So obviously I want to do something having to do with acting, theres no surprise there, but what? To say I want to act leaves a lot of questions unanswered. To narrow it down I want to concetrate more on film acting. It's not that I like film acting more than stage acting, it's just I've had many more oppurtunities to act on the stage than I've had to act on the screen, and for that it intrigues me. I'm curious, to learn about it, and even more so, I'm curious to see if I can pull it off. The thing is, on the stage there are so many layers of, for lack of a better word "fakeness" that you can hide behind. Masked by the makeup, cosutmes, lights, sets, music, and fellow actors, it is easy to create the illusion that you are acting, when in fact you are just faking. This is when the art of acting turns into the art of performing, and yes, by default acting is performing, but I want to do more than that. I want to be more than that. What really appeals to me the most is the the truth of film acting (that even though stage acting should share that same truth, like I said before, it is easy to create lies that simply just look like the truth). The fact that in film, every lie and every truth are magnified until you are basically standing there completley revealed and vulnerable scrares me, but it also inspires me. It overwhelms me but also motivates me, and that inspiration and motivation, having been growing inside me slowly and steadily over the past few years, is just about to burst. So I want to do something with film acting, but what. I have to say scenes are fun, but I've always been a fan of monologues. I don't know what it is about them that i find so appealing... maybe its the diva in me that likes to have all the attention on herself, or maybe its the irrational fear I have to depend on/open up to other people. I think the real reason is I feel like its a chance for me to reflect on my thoughts, and discover who I am, while doing something I love. So, when you add film acting with monologues, I think you get a reel. So I guess, as of now thats the shape my project is going to take. I'm a far way off from actually starting the filming of it all of course. I have to do some research. Read some books, search the web, that sort of thing. I also need to plan, rehearse, ect. That's basically where I am right now. I think its safe to say I've somewhat decided.

Acting...

First Week…

            We started with the script. Word by word we analyzed it until our heads were throbbing, our eyes were tearing and our fingers were aching. It was tedious work- the kind that makes you question why you want to be an actress in the first place. But when it’s done, it’s invaluable. First step- reading through the script and simply taking notes on your character. It’s like the first time you are meeting them and your noticing all their likes and dislikes, their personality traits etc. Second step is to divide the script up into French scenes. French scenes start and begin whenever a character enters or leaves the scene. Now that we have broken up the script into a smaller scale we begin to analyze it more closely. First we take note of the setting- where the scene is occurring. Next we take note on what is happening between the characters. After you take note on what the character wants from the other character. And lastly you take notes on what the character does. All this scene work seemed irrelevant and a waste of time but looking back it is anything but. As a young actress you don’t realize how clueless you can be when you get up on stage to perform a scene. It’s amazing how oblivious you can be to what is happening. The scene work forces you to sit down and truly think about it until it is practically ingrained into your mind, making the intellectual aspect of acting not only possible but a whole lot easier.

Second Week…

            Now it’s time to take all this thinking and actually apply it. This week we worked with objectives and actions. In a scene an objective is what you want from another character and an action is how you precede to get it. Sounds pretty simple right? Well, it is a lot more complicated than I expected. During this workshop I not only learned about acting but I also learned a thing or two about human beings. We as people never just say what we want or feel. It’s almost always hidden under the mask of meaningless words which is kind of ironic because the purpose of words is to allow us to say what we want and feel. When approaching the script with objectives and actions you use the dialogue as clues to the characters wants and feelings until you can dig deepm enough way past the words, into another dimension. When you reach this point the words become completely irrelevant. So much so that you can say, “I love you” by saying, “Make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.” Although this came somewhat naturally emotionally it was hard to grasp intellectually. For some unknown reason I wanted so much to understand the words and act the words and feel the words but in reality it’s just not that important. The words are just there to forward the plot and as long as you say them with the correct objectives and actions, the audience will somehow make sense of it all.

Third Week…

            Now it’s time to throw everything we learned in the first two weeks out the window. No more analyzing, no more thinking, just plain old doing. We were working with monologues but they were just there to give us something to say, nothing more.

 It didn’t matter what the character was feeling or doing. What mattered now is what you, the actress were feeling. In one of the handouts Luke gave us there were two sentences that made the lightbulb go off. “It is much harder to keep your brains and emotions alive while dealing with a script and react to the words as you hear them and as you say them. Too often we just switch ourselves off in an attempt to switch on the character.” That was my problem right there, trying too hard to become a character that I forgot to be Sabrina.

It’s such a strange idea though, and so we did some exercises to try and get acquainted with it. Such as, speaking aloud the random thoughts that come to your mind as you are reading the monologue. For instance- if you find the monologue boring in the middle of the monologue you would say, “I’m bored.” But this caused a problem to arise. I might be bored but the character isn’t. And then, I learned another piece of information that made the light bulb go off once again. Whatever you are feeling, the character is feeling because you are the character, it is as simple as that. The character isn’t real; they are simply some words printed on a piece of paper. You give the character life, and therefore you give it the emotions and not the other way around. That right there was the most valuable realization I had in the whole workshop. To not fight your emotions but to simply feel them. 

Who..

Constantin Stanislavsky developed the "Emotion Memory System". In this "system" actors were forced to recreate memories they have experienced in their own life, rather than their imagination. Really, almost no imagination was involved. It makes sense if you think about, if you want your performance to be truthful, you have to come from a place of reality, not fantasy. He was all about truth. Living and breathing the character. This system was proven ineffective however, due to the fact that many actors who applied it, suffered from hysteria. His system then evolved into what is known as the "Physical Action Method". in this method, an actor will preform physical movements or actions, to reach the desired emotion. Essentially, the actor is working from the outside in, which seems like the complete opposite from his original system. I think, only by applying both methods can you find some value in it. 


Micheal Chekov's approach, was using the outside to get in touch with the inside. He would explore the physicality of a character, in hopes of getting accessing the deep and subconscious side of a character. Chekov was one of Stanislavskys students, and so it makes sense that his technique is really a cross between Stanislavsky's two methods.


When discussing Lee Strasberg, you are really discussing Method Acting. Method Acting deals with combining the phycological state of the character, with the phycological state of the actor, until they almost become one. It is not so much playing a character, but playing yourself and making people believe that you are the character. A common question that is asked is, "What would motivate me, the actor, to behave in the way the character does?" It would be like if I'm in a scene in which I'm crying because I just found out my best friend died, I wouldn't be focussing on that actual circumstance to access the emotion, I would be focussing on something, that I Sabrina, could relate to.


Robert Lewis co-founded The Actors Studio. He focused on inner action and intention. "We must never settle for "what" we are doing and "why" we are doing it, but we also must ask "how" we are doing it. And if we have found the "how" we mustn't forget to justify the "what" and "why." He views what we are thinking as having a much greater importance that what we are saying or what we are doing. 


Stella Adler's technique was all about imagination, completely contradicting Stanislavsky, who incidentally was her teacher. There are four key points in her technique. One, acting is doing. An actor must always be performing an action while on stage, and must always know what the justification is for that action. Two, developing the imagination. An actor must observe the real world to enhance the imaginary world they create on stage. Three, training the mind. The actor must really know what is going on in the play. They need to read, analyze, explore and research. Four, size. Everything an actor does on stage needs to be big, and done with conviction. There must also be a deeper meaning to everything you are doing. 


Sandford Meisner's technique focused on how people interact. Their behavior, their reactions, their expressions... It was based on an actor's natural reflexes and impulses. Although this is most easily applied to improv, it can also be used in approaching a script. 

Expressionism...

What do I think about Expressionism? 

Well my first though was "Gee, expressionism sounds like expressing", which I now know is no coincidence considering that expressionism is all about the expression of feelings. Yes that's what all art is, but with expressionism, that's really all it revolves around. It's not about ideas, stories, or plots. It is more concerned with conveying emotion. I think anything more that, that can be found in expressionist art is the source of our imagination rather than the actual art itself. For example, when you see a painting of a little girl all alone standing in a field, your mind automatically begins making assumptions about who she is, why she's there, what she's thinking ect., but all the painting it really offering you is feelings of loneliness or perhaps curiosity. Yet there is no way to know if that was the artists intention. Maybe he really was trying to convey a detailed and in depth story about this little girl. There's no way to know. It seems that, by passing something off as expressionist, what you're really doing is simplifying something that is too complex for you to understand otherwise. So is expressionism a way of approaching art intellectually rather than creatively? It seems that way to me. I'm not saying that this is good or bad, or even if I like it or not (because I'm not really sure yet). All I'm saying is that it's interesting.

A Reminder...

I am once again reminded of what truly great acting is.


As I was sitting there in the audience of Wagner College's production of My Fair Lady, I knew very well where I was. I was in Staten Island, at Snug Harbor Cultural Center, in a theatre, watching a show. Yet, I felt myself, from time to time, almost believing I was in London, sitting in Professor Higgins's study, with Eliza Doolittle and Colonel Pickering. I formed relationships with them as though they where real people. I began to feel their pain or share in their happiness as though they were real people. And as far as I was concerned, as long as the lights were on and the curtain was drawn back, they were. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not delusional. I have a firm grasp on reality. I understand the difference between what is fake and what is real (well, for the most part). But, that's just it isn't it? Great acting isn't fake, it's completely, 100 percent real. Truly great acting, isn't acting at all. Of course this is something I already knew, and when I'm sitting in the audience I never seem to forget it. Yet, when I get up out of the audience and make my way onto the stage, it becomes harder and harder to remember.


I guess sometimes I just need a reminder.

I need to Blog...

You know, I've been busy. Or perhaps I've just been forgetful. Or maybe I've just been lazy. Who knows? 


I haven't been blogging, and I don't really know why. I mean, I like to blog. It's fun, it makes me feel like people are interested in what I have to say (which makes me feel smart and sort of boosts my ego), and it improves my writing (which I really love). And, most of all, when I don't blog, I feel bad. I feel irresponsible. I feel unfulfilled and lazy. I mean, I feel like my blog is a direct reflection of who I am. So, if I don't blog, than what does that say about me? Maybe this thing isn't really as important as I seem to think it is, or maybe it is. I don't know. But it doesn't matter. What matters is that I blog. I need to blog. It's as simple as that. 

I'm only human...

To act is not to act, it's to allow yourself to feel. I never had a problem understanding it, but experiencing, that's a whole other story. Today I got glimpses of what it's like, but it didn't last long. So what was the problem? Well, I figured out my problem last week. "When I begin to actually feel something, I get so excited that before I know it, I'm not feeling it anymore". That is completely, 100% true. Now, here's where it gets confusing. If you change "excited" to "scared", you will arrive at this weeks problem. Today in class, when I would actually start to feel something, it would completely freak me out, and then, guess what would happen? I wouldn't be feeling it anymore. I mean, this week we were working mostly with the emotion of anger, and believe me, no one hates being angry more than I do. So, naturally when I would actually begin to feel angry, I would instinctively recoil from it. Almost like a reflex I can't control. So one week I'm enjoying my emotions too much, and then the next week, I'm not enjoying them enough? It's a little bit of a dilemma. How can I possibly go about fixing a problem that keeps on changing? Well, I don't know. And quite frankly, I don't need to know; I'm not supposed to know. I mean, if I knew everything, I wouldn't be taking this class in the first place (and of course if I knew everything, I wouldn't be human).