Uta Hagen Reflection: Identity

This chapter was basically written for me. It's everything I try to do; and everything I probably can't do. 
Reading Uta Hagen's book so far is like seeing my own thoughts written out in front of me - in a more coherent and intelligible way.

I'm simply going to make a list, of important things, things to remember, things to work on as so on...:
1. You have to know who you are before you can act (ie. Art Life Motivation thingy)
2. Remember characters are human - they pee, eat, sleep, pick their nose, get colds etc. 
3. Naturalistic acting can also fall into stereotypes/ we try to copy successful natural actors... and when we copy that's representational/ we find the natural in the ordinary (not extraordinary) of our own lives - and who wants to watch ordinary?
4. With natural acting, we try to water down reality so it's believable... sometimes life is unbelievable
5. Who I think I am is NOT who I am - we view ourselves as a constant and static - but we are changing and evolving all the time - we almost have multiple personalities
6. Since your personality is a lot more expansive than we thought, it provides us with a totally competent "warehouse" (or library if you will) of behaviors and characteristics to help us create a real and believable character - we don't really need to use our imaginations too much
7. You have to accept and acknowledge the parts of yourself you don't like (very hard for me - I want to cry just thinking about it)
8. ... that's probably why I have the most trouble playing parts that are similar to me
9. We think we are boring... but we are not! (sometimes I don't believe this...but I should)
10. Note to self: don't be the personality actor! (who plays herself in every part she plays)
11. Our culture sucks because it tells us "don't cry", "don't feel", "hide your emotions".... and then we're suddenly supposed to be vulnerable on stage? That's hard.......
12. A connection to your heritage and history is important ( I don't really have that)
13. Now this is what's troubling me... " If you are affected in you daily life, calculatingly self aware in you relations with others, you will undoubtedly be abad actor, because your attention is narcissistic." I don't know if I'm just being paranoid, but when I read this an alarm went off. What if this is me? And if so, what does that mean for my acting? And most importantly, how do I fix it?

What's cool is I realized I know more about acting than I think I do. There was nothing that she was talking about that I don't already contemplate, strive for, or understand. But at the same token ( I don't want to give myself too much credit), I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. Does that make sense?!?!

One thing I have to remeber: a Facebook friend posted this a while ago and it has stuck with me..."Acting is being yourself, while convincing others you are someone else."

Uta Hagen Reflection: Concept

A light bulb has gone off. Acting is being human. The problems we face as actors, we face as human beings. The same goes for theatre and the whole entire world. Acting is the most natural and real profession in existence, which is pretty ironic. But what I love most about this is the power it gives to the theatre. Now I understand exactly what Uda Hagen was talking about. The battle between commercial theatre and the artists theatre. The FIght between money and meaning. Relying on talent and beauty. Laziness. Vanity, self - glorification, and narcissism. Serving yourself instead of serving the audience. These are the pitfalls of the American Theatre. But these are also the pitfalls for America, period. Valuing money above everything else. Viewing success as the ultimate goal. Wanting instant gratification. The list goes on and on. 

So if we can change our theatre, we can change our world - that's amazing. 

My favorite part of the chapter was these two quotes: 
"I want to be the best actor in America!" - basically every young actor (including me) who gets trapped in the pitfalls of vanity and egotism and has yet to learn that there is no best; even if there was it wouldn't be something worth striving for. 

And... "Love the art in yourself, not yourself in the art" - Stanislavsky. This requires no explanation because he is a genius and this just became my favorite quote ever and I might just have to tattoo this down my forearm. 

Although all this is a little too conceptual, I'm really enjoying this. Uda Hagen is the girl for me.

No Man's Land...

Over Thanksgiving break I saw No Man's Land starring Sir Ian McKellen and Sir Patrick Stewart. 
To be completely honest, as much as it pains me to say it, I didn't like the play. It might have been partly because I didn't feel well and partly because I didn't do the proper research before hand, but I simply didn't get it. I think my sister put it very well, "There was nothing active." Nothing really happens. If you asked me to describe the plot- the problem, climax, resolution etc. I couldn't do it. It seemed to have no plot. More importantly however, the character's didn't want anything. Their objectives were not clear and so it was hard to form opinions of them. I wasn't emotionally involved with the characters and so when the play ended, I was confused as to why I had just invested myself for the past 2 hours. Except for the fact that, for two hours, I was graced with the honor of seeing two of the best actors (of our time) perform on the stage. 
Whenever I see a show there is always a part of my brain that goes into note-taking mode. It tries to extract every detail of their performance, analyze it, and then commit it to memory - while the other part of my brain tries to simply watch and enjoy the show of course. In the case of these two actors, there is quit a lot to take notes on, and recounting it all now would take too much time. So I will focus on one particular point that I think is most valuable for me at this moment. 
Movement. I think one of the tell tale signs of an experienced actor is their movement - or lack there of. As an inexperienced actor we often move to much, whether it be our hands, our focus, of heads, or our feet. We do this for several different reasons: 
         1. We have so many ideas and can't decide what to do because we don't make specific enough choices
         2. We wrongly think it adds something to our performance, but it doesn't - moving for the sake of moving just looks silly
         3. We use it as a distraction so we don't truly have to commit ourselves emotionally, because that makes us vulnerable (and we don't like that)

No matter what the reason we are all guilty of it, but I hadn't realized just how detrimental it can be until now. McKellen and Stuart are powerful actors, and their power lies in their stillness. They don't move, they are practically like statues, it's quit the thing to see. Their lack of movement allows you to see them, all of them, with no distractions. They are incredibly vulnerable but that's what makes them so extraordinary. 

One more Big Think...

As we've established I'm not religious and I do not observe Shabbat. But maybe I should? Or at least partake in a "Technology Shabbat". To say that we are addicted to technology, that it has taken over our lives and consumes us 24/7 is an understatement. It's become an extension of ourselves. We have come to believe that we can't live without it. Somehow we have found that connecting with millions of people we don't even know is more important that  connecting with our friends and families (I truly believe Technology can lead to world peace, but that means it's very powerful, and when not used carefully has the potential to do just as much harm as good). So maybe we should all observe a "Technology Shabbat", whether we are jewish or not. If we unplug, take our eyes off the screen, and actually look at what's around us I think we would be a lot happier. I think we would appreciate more. I think we would learn more. I think we would experience our life more. When you really think about, we have traded the real world for a virtual world. Maybe it's because it's safer, maybe it's because it's in our control... I don' know.  But all I know is that the benefit of leaving the virtual world from time to time and reentering the real world is invaluable. I'm going to make a vow to every once and a while stop instagramming my lunch, and actually sit back and enjoy the meal. 

The next Big Think...

The only thing that separates humans from all other animals is our ability to create art. It is our need to communicate. Our hunger to explain. And our overpowering want to connect with others. A humans being purpose isn't to merely survive physically, like most other animals who are driven by a hunger food in order to sustain themselves. We need to feed our minds and our souls, not just our bodies. The meaning of life can very well be simply to survive it, but I don't think humans will ever accept that (even if that's all there is to it). It's our desire to find meaning (even in places where there is no meaning to be found). We want something more. And we get it - at least artists do. Artists embody this human need, hunger, want and desire. It exists in everybody but it's more powerful for us artists. I don't think this makes us more special (although we like to think it does). I think it simply makes us more human. More weak. More imperfect. More vulnerable. More sensitive... the list goes on and on. Because if life is truly about survival, and it's survival of the fittest, than where does that leave us weak, sensitive and vulnerable artists? It leaves us in the studio creating, because that's all that we can be certain of. 

Another Big Think...

Technology gives a voice to billions of people who previously have had none.
I don't know if this sounds entirely too idealistic but I think technology can lead to world peace.
The most important thing in relationship is communication. We, as the human race, are all in a relationship with  each other. In order for this relationship to be a healthy and sustainable one we need to listen, respect, and learn about each other. How can we do this? Technology. Technology allows us to talk to someone half way around the world in a matter of seconds. We can text people in Australia and Skype with people in Japan. Technology connects us like never before. Please excuse my corny metaphor but Technology is a thread than sew up this gaping hole that is tearing our world apart. I don't think humans are innately bad - although watching about 30 seconds of any news show might convince you otherwise. I think our main problem is that we don't listen. We are ignorant, oblivious, and a little self involved. Our most important sense, hearing, is probably the weakest. Sight is much stronger. Hearing about a horrible genocide in Uganda maybe will make us frown for a few seconds and let out a sigh, but it does nothing to truly affect us. However talking with someone who has survived it. Or seeing photos of the dead and wounded victims. THAT affects us like nothing else can. Humans are visual beings. After all, a pictures worth a thousand words. And technology is a medium that allows us to share these "pictures" with the world. 
I think technology can excite passion, compassion, kindness, tolerance, and empathy. And that's the key to world peace- understanding. 

Big Think, again...

Babies are better scientists than adults. That honestly doesn't surprise me. Apparently it's because babies have more neural and synapses connections being formed than adults do. I just think it's because babies are more curious that adults are. Every thing is new for them so everything excites them. They see something that they don't know about and they want to learn more. They have a passion for learning that we loose as we get older. Even as a 17 year old, I merely accept what I don't know. My interest in learning is limited to simply finding out more about what I already know. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing all the time. It means I am always working to get better and improving my skills. But it's also kind of sad. Things that we have no clue about should excite us, but they don't. There are two explanations for this: either humans are scared or lazy. I think it's a little bit of both. I think humans are born as close to perfection as they ever will be. They are pure, clean, and untouched. But as they grown they are tainted and torn and stained. As we grow up we become less and less perfect. Part of this imperfection is our lack of curiosity. Those of us who this doesn't apply to are not more perfect than the next guy, they simply work harder at overcoming it. They don't allow their laziness or fear to get in the way. 
The moral of the story? Don't ever grow up.