Why do I (Sabrina Kalman)
create Art?
I
create art because I am afraid… I’m almost 18 years old. I’m in the prime of my
youth. I have my whole life ahead of me. So, it might surprise you that I think
about dying… a lot. Well, at least more than average. Whenever the topic of
death fights its way to the forefront of my consciousness, it is always accompanied
by fear. I am afraid of dying. I am afraid of dying with regret. I’m afraid of
dying, and then being forgotten. Acting is the way I cope with this fear. I am
so lucky. I have found something that I love. Something that I want to do for
the rest of my life. Something that I’m meant
to do. And the only thing that would stop me from acting… is fear. And by the
same token, fear is what keeps me going. The fear of regret seems to beat out
the fear of failure every time, and so I continue to step onto the stage,
succumbing to and overcoming my fear. Because as much as I know the life of an
actor is hard, I know the life of a regretter is even harder.
My
fear of being forgotten, though not as prevalent as my fear of regret, still
drives me forward. I don’t want to be average; just another white Jewish girl
from Long Island. I want to be special. I dream of changing lives and leaving
my mark on the world… and not because of my ego (which of course, all us
artists have), but because of my fear. I want to lead a life that has meaning
and purpose. If I don’t, I’m just a waste of space… and that scares me.
I create art because I am curious… Nothing makes
sense. The world. My life. Myself. I don’t really understand the way any of it
works; but I want to. So I act, because somehow it helps me figure it out.
Acting gives you a small slice of reality to deal with at a time. It’s
contained and exposed, so it’s a lot easier to understand than life. With every
part, you figure out a little bit more. Like I said, I don’t understand
anything, but I would understand a whole lot less if I didn’t act.
I
create art because I am bored… Life (or my life at least) is very uneventful.
Acting gives my life some well-needed excitement. I know they say you are more interesting than any character (and I agree). But often times, a script is much more
interesting than your life. It’s not like I’m bored to tears with my own life;
I like my life. But it’s very ordinary, and sometimes I just need an escape to
the extraordinary. I guess I act for the same reasons that little kids play
pretend. Sometimes reality just isn’t as much fun.
And
of course… I create art because I have to. It’s as simple as that.
What are my (Sabrina Kalman)
influences?
First I have to split
“Influences” into two categories: People
I know and People I don’t know.
Let’s start with People I
don’t know. When thinking of what Influences me 2 things come to mind… Harry
Potter and Friends. So much of what I do, as an artist, and as a person, comes
back to one amazing series and wonderful sitcom. They are two sources of
entertainment that I have been exposed to the longest. I have watched Harry Potter
(1 thru 7) more than any other Movie, and I’ve seen every single Friends
episode more than any other T.V. show. Naturally, after such intense exposure
for such a prolonged period of time, they are bound to influence me.
As a human being, I pretty
much measure myself and everything I do against Harry Potter. Running the risk
of sounding a little too crazy obsessed I will make this analogy: If this book
series is like my religion, then Harry Potter is like Jesus. My motto is “What
would Harry do?”. I measure my morals, values, actions, thoughts, opinions, and
character against him… literally everything. Whenever I begin to think that I’m
a “not-so-good” human being (which worries me from time to time) I remember
this, “We both have light and dark in us, what matters is the path we choose to
act on.” Then I feel better. Because if Harry, the hero, can have flaws, then
so can I. Whenever I’m having a bad day, or a crappy week, or the most awful
month imaginable, I remember Harry Potter and what he went through. If he can
defeat Voldemort and save all of man-wizard kind, then I can definitely get
into college (or whatever it is that is getting me down). I feel the need to
acknowledge that I understand Harry Potter is not a real person, but a
fictional chacaracter. Yet in all seriousness, I think he’s the best role model
I could ask for.
To keep going with this
analogy, J.K. Rowling is like God. As an artist, if every I am scared,
confused, discouraged, or lazy, all I need is to think of her. To put it
simply, she is amazing. She over came every obstacle, every bump in the road,
every brick wall… and the end result? Writing the best book series ever (yes,
that is fact). Whenever I am lazy, I remember how hard she worked. Whenever I
am scared, I remember that she was living in her car, unemployed, writing the
first words of Harry Potter on a napkin. Whenever I am discouraged, feeling as
though I should just give up, I remember she got rejected from 7 publishing
companies. If J.K. Rowling is good enough to get rejected, then so am I. And
just like those publishing companies, those 5 colleges will one day regret
their decision.
As an actress, no one
influences me more than Jen, Courtney, Matt, Mathew, and David (yes we are on
first name basis). They aren’t necessarily the best or my favorites of all
time, but they are my most influential teachers. Their acting is superb; I
don’t think anyone would argue that it isn’t one of the most well acted T.V.
shows... ever. They’re so funny, charming, likeable, and truthful. Everything I
want to be. So I watched and I watched and I watched – absorbing everything.
How do they say their lines? How do they move? How do they look when they’re
not speaking? Every night at 11 pm on channel 33 I tune in to my own personal
master class. I’ll even admit this, although slightly embarrassing, has helped
me a great deal: I’ll watch a scene, memorize the lines, and then recite them,
trying to mimic them exactly. It’s taught me a lot. And whenever I’m in a scene
and something is troubling me. A line isn’t coming out right, or I can’t quit
get the timing on something; I try to do it like them. It’s like having a
library of acting tips in my head at all times, because I’ve literally
memorized every single moment of every single episode. It’s funny; when I watch
myself I’ll see Jen-isms, or Mathew-looks popping out here and there. And I
couldn’t be happier.
Now, for people I know, my
most prevalent influence is my sister. My work ethic, professionalism
(hopefully), rehearsal/class etiquette, mental approach to auditioning, etc.,
is credited to her. I basically copy everything she does, and so far it’s
worked out pretty good for both of us.
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