Text messages, Knifes, and barbecue sauce...

I would like to say that I am having so much fun filming our horror movie. During the pre-production process it was tedious, boring, and headache inducing. Yet all the while there was a meager sense of excitement and anticipation lingering far in the distance, and now it's here. We're filming and I find myself counting down the hours to 7th period so we can get started. 
 What I love more than anything is never knowing what's going to happen. We tirelessly planned, and re-planned, and planned again every shot. Yet what I pictured in my head was never as cool as what I saw through the lens. Quit often what we see in our imaginations is better than reality, but not here, and I think that's really cool. Our film is the product of the best parts of mine, Grace's, Andrew's, Brian's, and Danny's imaginations, so it's no wonder that it's better than what I could've produced on my own. This is a very valuable lesson to learn. The sheer power of numbers is something not to be overlooked. Collaboration is a key ingredient in success. It doesn't matter what comes out of your own mind, it only matters how you apply what comes out of others. You have to put ego aside and merely look at quality of ideas, and I am proud of my group, because we've been quit successful in this. I really want to sit and brag about the cool things we did but you'll just have to wait and see it! So, I'll continue on with my experience behind the scenes. 
It is obvious that my group has some very strong personalities, and you would think this would cause some... tumult and tension. But you would be wrong. I don't think I've ever been involved in a group project were there was so little conflict. Not to leave us entirely credit-less because I think it's partly because we are all older and more mature (and more civil). But  I think the major reason is because we are all passionate about our project. We all have a common goal: making the best horror film possible, and as a result, when there is a difference in opinion, we simply try to find the best solution (because that will mean making the best movie). I want to remember this and somehow harvest this for the future when working in other groups. If this can be achieved more often then the "group project" wont seem so menacing - actually to be honest I personally always enjoyed group projects because I hate working alone and really like depending on people but anyway... 

I want to take a moment and reflect on a very interesting shot we had to shoot  today. To avoid spoilers all I'll say is  I had to take a mouthful of barbecue sauce and water, and have it dribble out of my mouth. I don't know what it was, but there was something so cool about it. I had a weird sense of accomplishment and pride about it. It sounds silly I know, but despite the really bad after taste and queasy stomach, it made me feel really good. I think it was the fact that I was willing to do it. It was weird, I probably looked ridiculous. And I was really wanted to do it. I was excited to do it. Four years ago I wouldn't have been so willing. I remember freshman year we were filming a commercial where we all had to put on crazy make-up and I was really uncomfortable and awkward about it. I remember Zach turning to me and saying, "I can't wait until you're a senior. You're going to be willing to do the craziest s***!"It's weird how I remember this so clearly. But this has become sort of a theme for me this year. Reflecting on who I was as a freshman, who I am now, and seeing how much I've grown. Because I've grown a lot - and this is quit comforting. No matter how scary College is, the prospect that I have another four years of extreme personal growth ahead of me never fails to have me counting down the days until graduation

... Don't get me wrong though- It's still scary. And I definitely don't want to rush it.