What if there came a day when I could no longer dance? As I sit here watching my ballet class the question entered my mind. Of course to say that this day has come would be slightly mellow dramatic, but it's a question worthy of consideration never the less. I've always thought of myself as someone who wasn't necessarily married to their art. Of course I love it but there are things I love more, like my family for instance. I guess you could say I consider myself one of the healthy ones... But as I sit here, unable to dance, something doesn't feel right. It's uncomfortable. It's unsettling. I don't like it. And I can't seem to get that question out of my head, so I figure, I should answer it (why not? It'll be something to keep me busy while I sit through a 2 hour ballet class). So, what what would happen if I could no longer dance? But, there is something wrong with the question itself. Its a contradiction. If I could no longer dance, than I wouldn't be "I" at all. Sabrina wouldn't exist. Well not the Sabrina I know. Sabrina is a dancer. It's who I am. It's what makes me different from all the other millions of blue eyed blonde haired smiley girls on this planet. As corny as this sounds, it's what makes me special. It's true though. To be honest, I'm not so sure if I would like myself all that much if I wasn't a dancer. It's the best part about me. It doesn't just make me who I am but it makes me better than that.
Like I said before, I am not necessarily married to my art so if it was ever taken away from me, I'm sure I could go on. I'd have other things to enjoy, like singing or acting for example. But, it would be like a person receiving their nutrients from an IV. It would sustain them. They could live a good life. Even a great life. They could be happy, but they would never truly be satisfied. There would always be a hunger inside them that they couldn't quit shake.
I'm sitting here, trying to picture what I would look like if I wasn't a dancer. Besides being slightly out of shape there is something very wrong with my appearance. I'm not smiling. I know...a little mellow dramatic. But, my smile is something that has become just as much as an identifier for me as my name. Again, it's what makes me, me. As Chandler from Friends would say "it's my essence."
So I guess I've answered the question, but I haven't really come up with a solution. There probably isn't one anyway. So I guess every day, will just be another day I get to dance, and hopefully that will be enough
No comments:
Post a Comment