Today was the last day of the workshop, and I finally got up there and did it again. We ran through the scene a few times and I made a few observations...
1. Nerves are my friend. Whenever I get nervous I seem to perform better. Surprisingly I wasn't that nervous monday, but not having done it since then, jumping back into it today was a little nerve racking. Standing there, my stomach turned a bit and my heart began to flutter. I can't even say why I was nervous ,there was no reason to be, but who cares? It helped. Today the scene felt a million times better. I guess my nerves helped inspire me to fight harder for my "action" and raised the stakes. The key was, I didn't fight my nervousness, I embraced it, and used it as fuel in the scene.
2. I need to watch. I realized today one of my biggest problems is that I don't watch my scene partner closely, or even at all. There's a difference between watching and looking and I learned that today. I've always looked at my scene parter but I was always watching myself. Noticing what I was doing, what my voice sounded like, how my body felt, etc., but it should be the other way around. The more I focus I put on my scene parter the less I was watching myself and the better the scene became. This is going to be an extremely hard habit to break because that's what I do to myself in real life (constantly judge), but I'm going to work on it.
3. Body language is sometimes more important that spoken language. When I was doing my work on the monologue the gestures really brought it to life. My body was so much more powerful than my words or my mind. If felt more real for me with the physical gestures and the size and speed than it did with the "as-ifs". This is definitely something to keep in mind. Physicality works best for me, which makes sense considering I'm a dancer.
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